In Cait West’s new book, Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away From Christian Patriarchy, she takes a deep dive into the rancid swill of the Christian patriarchy movement.

And she does so by vulnerably sharing her personal journey of what it was like to be a “stay at home daughter.”

I could relate to so many of Cait’s descriptions about being homeschooled by parents whose primary objective was to isolate their children from “the world.”

Eventually, her father’s constant demonization of everything outside his rigid, authoritarian beliefs, coupled with his unrelenting expectations that Cait conform to her assigned role of being a submissive daughter, led her to develop acute religious trauma.

Reading through her narrative, it’s impossible not to feel a deep sadness for what she’s endured, but I also felt so much admiration for her courage to question and eventually break away from such a restrictive upbringing.

I’m honestly not sure I could have done it had I been as deeply entrapped and isolated as she was before she was finally made her escape.

Her story serves as an important reminder that escaping toxic environments is not only possible but very often a necessary first step in reclaiming one’s authentic self.

Favorite Quotes:

“I began to feel I must be living in a refuge protected from wickedness, that danger was always close. I was learning the language of fear and the lies of safety.”

“I believed them all—my father, my pastor, women in the church—when they said I just couldn’t see what God had in store, that I just needed to trust and obey.”

“The truth is patriarchy forces conformity. It relies on hierarchy and oppression to survive. The men at the top benefit, and everyone else is left trying to get close to power. The enablers are often girls and women who unknowingly believe their safety relies on obeying the rules that a society made by men has created for them, rules of behavior and clothing, of outward appearances. We teach each other how to behave.”

“People have told me I was brave to leave. But I think I simply acted on the most basic human need: to survive.”

Who Should Read This Book

Anyone who has experienced the effects of an oppressive religious system should read this book.

Although Cait writes about fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity, I believe anybody who’s been indoctrinated into any patriarchal religious group could relate to a lot of what she talks about.

I also think any therapist, coach or other helping professional who encounters folks who have experienced religious indoctrination should read this book because it shines a spotlight on an issue that so often goes undetected.

Her description of the acute effects of religious trauma is so poignant and will really offer readers a sense of validation that religious trauma IS trauma.

I bring up this point because it seems like religious trauma is often either minimized or entirely overlooked by mental health professionals, which is extremely detrimental for many clients.

But thankfully, Cait’s book brings awareness to how traumatizing many of these high control, patriarchal groups really are, though they may be neatly hidden behind “shiny happy faces.”

So if you’ve been wanting to read something by someone who “gets it” when it comes to religious trauma, or you want to get a behind the scenes look at high control religion in action, then this book is for you!

What To Do Next:

I hope this review was helpful, and that you’ll choose to read the book.

It will be available everywhere books are sold on April 30th, 2024.

If it’s not yet April 30th, DO still consider placing a pre-order {pre-orders really help new authors as they launch their books into the world}.

Other Books I’ve Reviewed:

• Pure by Linda Kay Klein
• A Radical Awakening by Dr. Shefali
• When Religion Hurts You by Dr. Laura Anderson

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