Disclaimer: I only choose to review books that I have found value in either personally or professionally. All opinions regarding this book are solely my own and were not solicited by the author or publisher.

I first read this book at the beginning of 2021.

At the time, I was already deep into my deconstruction from evangelical christianity.

In the midst of a pandemic and a cross-country move, my personal life had also been unraveling for several months due to painful family dynamics and a marriage that was on its final, brutal leg.

As I was reflecting on all the ways my life had turned completely upside down, I was beginning to see how patterns of codependency, people-pleasing and enmeshment had led me to a place a total self-abandonment.

Though much of this developed from my experience with religion, I was able to recognize that religion wasn’t the whole issue.

My family of origin played a huge role in it, but also — being a woman in a patriarchal culture.

I couldn’t have come across Dr. Shefali’s book at a better time because it was exactly the wake-up call I needed to really confront the source of my self-abandonment, so I could {finally!} return to my authentic self.

Initial Impressions

This book is kinda of a tough read because Dr. Shefali doesn’t mince words. This isn’t a cozy, curl up with a cup of tea kind of book.

It’s the kind of book that grasps you by the shoulders and gives you a good shake.

At least that’s how it felt to me anyway… But this was perfect because it was exactly what I needed at the time.

I needed to wake-up.

Dr Shefali takes a bit of a tough love approach in helping her readers understand that they need to critically evaluate the ways they have contributed to their own self-abandonment.

It took me a long time to realize the difference between taking on blame versus taking on responsibility. Whereas blaming myself kept me mired in fear, accompanied by my silence and complicity, taking responsibility allowed me to see my participation in my own victimization and rise up with courage and daring.

Dr. Shefali, A Radical Awakening, Pg 9.

This can be a tough pill to swallow…

However, I immediately felt empowered by it.

I was like, “finally, here’s something here I can really work with!”

I also found her perspective really refreshing. She is an Indian woman who was raised in a deeply patriarchal culture that conditioned her to abandon herself in order to survive.

She wrote this book after finding a way to reclaim her power in the wake of her divorce.

Though culturally we’re worlds apart, I couldn’t help but notice the massive parallels to my own situation.

Key Points

• Dr Shefali encourages you to question and break free from societal and cultural conditioning that often limits personal growth and self-expression (a.k.a. ditching the patriarchy), an she emphasizes the importance of recognizing and challenging ingrained beliefs.

• A significant focus of the book is on empowering women to step into their authentic selves, by unburdening themselves from the expectations and roles that society imposes upon us.

• Dr. Shefali encourages you to cultivate self-love and self-acceptance, emphasizing that these qualities are essential for personal growth and inner peace.

• The book touches on the significance of authentic and meaningful relationships. It explores how we can cultivate more profound connections with others by first connecting with ourselves.

I mean, she really says it best here:

This book challenges us to push against the status quo. It dares us to go beyond “how things are” to enter a new vision of ourselves. It begins by awakening us to our reality — how our biology shapes us, how our psychology molds us, and how our culture scares us until we lose ourselves. By understanding and embracing these three layers, we allow ourselves to break free.

Dr. Shefali, A Radical Awakening, Pg 9.

Overall Review

I have read this book two times, using a pink highlighter the first time and a purple highlighter the second time.

I don’t think there’s a page left in the entire book that’s not smeared with either pink or purple.

It’s just THAT good.

Even though she doesn’t speak directly to the topic of religious indoctrination, the issues she’s talking about are ALL issues that are compounded by indoctrination into high control religions, namely, chronic self-abandonment.

And one of the reasons I love it so much is because it’s not a book about religion or trauma.

It’s a book about YOU and ME and all people who have experienced the suffering that comes from self-abandonment.

It’s a book about self-reclamation.

And… I might just read it a third time — probably with a blue highlighter this time.

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